From the SVE Admin Team
Connection Before Direction
When was the last time you saw a child defy the wishes of a parent who clearly loves their child? No matter how
well-intentioned, loving or skillful in discipline techniques you are, children do not automatically give us the authority to direct them. How many rebellious teenagers do you know where the deep love of the parent of the child simply hasn't translated into good choices for the child?
Parenting requires a special type of relationship so children will adopt the values for right and wrong from the adult. Such relationships have connection beyond just love. In the early years children attach to their parent through contact and being close physically. But as children grow, closeness increasingly becomes replaced with psychological and emotional closeness.
Children who are not close to adults are often difficult to parent, and are often difficult to teach as well. And when they don't attach to adults, they may try to fill that attachment void with their peers, who lack the emotional maturity to model mature values and choices. Peer orientation in children often causes them to forego what parents and adults see as right and wrong, and so they choose the values of their friends first.
This is why it is critical to find CONNECTION BEFORE DIRECTION when your child has made a mistake. When we choose to connect with the child emotionally first, they know we are there to help them and do what is in their best interest. Only after connecting do we collaborate with them to solve the problem and give them DIRECTION. If we simply give a punishment and DIRECT them in what to do without connecting first, they may comply, but it likely won't result in long lasting change. If we don't connect with them as a supporting adult, they may connect with their peers, and adopt the values of how to behave from friends rather than the adults in their lives.
Trust is built through connection. This is why we need to connect before we direct. The relationship you build with your child will largely determine whether they adopt your values of what is right or wrong, or the values of their peers as they grow up. The time to start strengthening these relationships is now - the younger your children are the better! Provide CONNECTION BEFORE DIRECTION, and your children will thrive and trust you more than the words of their peers. They will also become better listeners and likely have more success in school.
If you want to learn more about attachment, "Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers" by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate is a great book, and available at the library as well as here. Next month we will share more on how the power of attachment trumps punishment in forming children who adopt your values.
When was the last time you saw a child defy the wishes of a parent who clearly loves their child? No matter how
well-intentioned, loving or skillful in discipline techniques you are, children do not automatically give us the authority to direct them. How many rebellious teenagers do you know where the deep love of the parent of the child simply hasn't translated into good choices for the child?
Parenting requires a special type of relationship so children will adopt the values for right and wrong from the adult. Such relationships have connection beyond just love. In the early years children attach to their parent through contact and being close physically. But as children grow, closeness increasingly becomes replaced with psychological and emotional closeness.
Children who are not close to adults are often difficult to parent, and are often difficult to teach as well. And when they don't attach to adults, they may try to fill that attachment void with their peers, who lack the emotional maturity to model mature values and choices. Peer orientation in children often causes them to forego what parents and adults see as right and wrong, and so they choose the values of their friends first.
This is why it is critical to find CONNECTION BEFORE DIRECTION when your child has made a mistake. When we choose to connect with the child emotionally first, they know we are there to help them and do what is in their best interest. Only after connecting do we collaborate with them to solve the problem and give them DIRECTION. If we simply give a punishment and DIRECT them in what to do without connecting first, they may comply, but it likely won't result in long lasting change. If we don't connect with them as a supporting adult, they may connect with their peers, and adopt the values of how to behave from friends rather than the adults in their lives.
Trust is built through connection. This is why we need to connect before we direct. The relationship you build with your child will largely determine whether they adopt your values of what is right or wrong, or the values of their peers as they grow up. The time to start strengthening these relationships is now - the younger your children are the better! Provide CONNECTION BEFORE DIRECTION, and your children will thrive and trust you more than the words of their peers. They will also become better listeners and likely have more success in school.
If you want to learn more about attachment, "Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers" by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate is a great book, and available at the library as well as here. Next month we will share more on how the power of attachment trumps punishment in forming children who adopt your values.
ATTENDANCE/TARDINESS/CORONAVIRUS
A reminder that lack of attendance and being late for school puts your child at a big disadvantage in their learning. Students can feel insecure and "out of the loop" when they miss time that their classmates have had at school. They miss important project instruction as well as many special events. Please do your best to get your child to school each and every day. Please also try to have your child arrive at school so they can enter the classroom at 8:25 when the bell rings. When they come in to the classroom late, they are not only missing classroom routines, they are also disrupting the learning of others. Thanks for doing your best to have your child at school on time every school day! That said, it is important to stay home if you are not feeling well to avoid spreading any germs, especially with the recent CORONAVIRUS outbreak. If you have questions about this virus, you can find trustworthy information by visiting: http://www.bced.gov.bc.ca/bulletin/20200228/feb-28-coronavirus-update.pdf. Children may be hearing myths about the virus that has them feeling anxious. Here is a great video created by CBC Kids that you can share with your your child to help reduce anxiety about the virus: https://www.cbc.ca/kidsnews/post/watch-coronavirus-facts-versus-fiction . |
How to receive TEXT Message reminders from the school
We often send reminders of school events and important updates through our TEXT message system. If you want this quick reminder, all you need to do is type the letter “Y” to the number 978338 and you will be signed up. Thanks for registering to stay in the loop! |
ELFF - Early Learning for Families - WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15 from
5 - 6:30 pm. ELFF is a program for families with children aged 3 - 5 years old designed to improve your child's success in literacy and to build connections between home and school. Please join us with your 3, 4 or 5 year old to play some games, do arts and crafts and enjoy a meal together. ELFF is FREE of charge for members or your family. Please RSVP to the school (250) 870-5119 to RSVP to Kristy at [email protected]. |
“Is it okay for my child to watch that movie at this age?”
“Is this video game appropriate for my child to play?”
“What in the world is Tik Tok?”
There are endless questions like these for parents raising children in the digital age. Common Sense Media is a great go-to website for questions like these and more! Check out their website here: Common Sense Media
“Is this video game appropriate for my child to play?”
“What in the world is Tik Tok?”
There are endless questions like these for parents raising children in the digital age. Common Sense Media is a great go-to website for questions like these and more! Check out their website here: Common Sense Media
BOOK SWAP - MARCH 11 - Its time to get some new books on your shelves just in time for Spring Break~ Bring a book for the swap and take a different one home. Please bring your gently used books to the school from March 4 - 10. Each book that students bring will allow them to take that many books from the swap. Thanks for helping your child spend important time reading at home!
PAC COIN DRIVE for Playground Equipment
From March 2-12, we are having a coin drive to raise money for a new playground climbing net structure. The pod that raises the most money will get a giant POT OF GOLD! If the school reaches their goal, students will get an extra recess break! We would LOVE to have new people attend a PAC meeting. Our next meeting is on Wednesday March 4th at 6:30 pm in our school library. PAC meetings are usually held on the first Wednesday of the month. At our April meeting (April First) we will be discussing our vision for a new playground for our students. We hope you can make it to these meetings to share your ideas and learn more about our school! THANKS to all the extra volunteers who have helped out with HOT LUNCH so the program has been able to continue. |
Reminder about bottle and can recycling at Columbia Bottle Depot
Another way you can help the PAC raise money is by bringing your bottles and Cans to the Return It-Express account at the Columbia Bottle Depot; 1936 Kent Road! Just bring your clear bag full of recyclables, print a sticker with our school phone number (250) 870-5119, and attach the stickers to your bags of bottle returns. Our School PAC account will be credited and money will be put toward a new PLAYGROUND climbing structure! NO SORTING required... Thanks for supporting our school fundraising efforts.
Important SVE Dates
Click here for our calendar: http://www.sve.sd23.bc.ca/Calendar/calendar.aspx#/= Wednesday, March 11 - BOOK SWAP Thursday, March 12 - LAST DAY for COIN DRIVE Friday, March 13 - Pajama Day and Learning Summaries sent home March 14-29 - Spring Break (have a great break!) Monday, March 30 - Schools re-open after the break Friday, April 3 - Whole Class Photos Wednesday, April 8 - Kindergarten Vision Screening Friday, April 10 - GOOD FRIDAY - Schools Closed Monday, April 13 - EASTER MONDAY - Schools Closed |